The River
I’ve been searching my soul a lot lately.
At the beginning of the year, I set some goals. One of them was to talk to y’all three times a week. I did that, and then life got in the way. I got busy.
I lost my mojo.
I focused on one tiny category, and failed to see the mojo of my life in its totality, and to make sure the pieces were woven together efficiently. I dropped the ball on several of my other goals that are also really important.
I have so many things I want to say, to share, to spew out.
I talk about adoption and orphan care issues…because it’s a big part of who I am and what I believe is important
I talk about making a difference in the world, because a purpose outside of ourselves is critical to living a full life.
I share bits and pieces of fiction and creative writing that are just a ton of fun to write.
I even talk about, gasp, work. And how to survive as a dreamer in a dreamless environment.
But this is getting all a little bit random.
Why are we here?
My dreams are to string words together in ways that really resonate with people, and to help kids who have been abandoned, neglected, enslaved, and forgotten.
I want this to be a place where y’all feel you can relax and connect, and where somehow my words can say something that will encourage you or make you laugh, or inspire you to get up off your butt and do something, anything, to chase your dreams and make this world a better place.
I know I will never be everything to everyone. I don’t want that. But what I do want is to serve the people who come here loyally. I want to know what brings you here, and what brings you back. I want to honor where it intersects with what fuels my heart.
So I’m going to toss it out to you with a couple questions.
If you’re a regular reader at River of Thoughts, I want to hear what you think.
If you’re here for the first time, I want to hear what would inspire you to come back.
I am not fishing for compliments like “If you wrote a phone book, I would read it” Because I’m not going to write a phone book unless someone offers me a crapload of money, and insurance, and four weeks of vacation. Everyone has their price.
I really really want to know what inspires you. What leaves you craving more? Leave a comment…
PS: If you don’t want to comment, you can email me directly… christine (at) riverofthoughts.com or tweet me @croyseniles or hit me on Facebook (although i’ve been terribly lazy there lately…sorry if i’ve missed your birthday. Happy Birthday.)
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About Christine
I’m a writer, a recovering project manager, and a corporate refugee with a passion to share the lessons I've learned. I've worked with bestselling authors to launch nearly a million dollars' worth of books and online courses. I've seen what works (and what doesn't), and I know what it takes for a growing writer to get your work out and grow as you go.
Christine, I hear you! I too am battling the randomness bug over where I am. I feel like your posts all have something significant to say, and I don’t know that I need them all to be about the same thing when I come to read–but I hear you on this. I understand that people kind of like to know what they’re “getting” when they come to a blog–but that’s just it, I don’t always know what I’m going to be serving up, you know? This post is important because I bet a LOT of writers are right here with you.
Glad to know i’m not alone!
***Sorry this is so long, but you asked….and forget FB and Twitter. Do you know how many 140 character messages I’d have to send you to get this all out? And I don’t need my 170 or so “friends” reading what I wrote to you on FB)***
I agree with Thea…I feel the same way. I feel like I’m all over the place and don’t know what my readers want. In chasing expectations, others AND my own, I feel like I have lost my priorities. I feel scattered.
I think this is normal.
The point is, you are growing in your writing skills as time goes on. You’re getting better, even just in the year I’ve been following you. In the fiction writing, the orphanage pieces, and the other topics you cover. You’re passionate about whatever you write about. THAT’S what keeps us coming back.
So, yeah. You could copy the phone book if the price was right, but I guarantee you’d put a definite spin on it all your own. Because you put EVERYTHING within your power to make anything awesome before you click “publish”.
As far as your topics, the Fiction Fridays are great. Yes, if you strictly wrote about orphan issues 5 days a week, that’s what people would expect in a blog about orphan issues. It’s safe. Boring, but safe. No one is going to walk away from what you have to say just because you add a little spice to the end of the week.
Lastly, I don’t have adopted children. I waited far too long to have my own children. A blessing? No question. But I’m done! I couldn’t imagine my life with another child besides the two we have. Life is crazy enough the way it is, thank you very much. I think of Louis C.K. when he says after his small children ask him to chase them: “Chase you? No. Daddy’s not gonna chase you. If someone takes you, maybe I’ll chase THEM!”
When Ryan wakes us every night at 3 am, or when Jack screams “NO!” and throws his toys, I think of you. Honestly.
Not just because you threw your phone at me at Killer Tribes and screamed “No!” when I asked if I could borrow a pen. But because you remind me just how blessed my crazy life is, and how many millions of children would love to have that crazy life, too.
I think of you because people spend years and thousands of dollars TRYING to have children and can’t. They would love to be screamed at or woken up in the middle of the night by a child.
I think of you at how pissed you’d be at me if you knew that sometimes I feel unappreciative of my children. Sometimes I think, “Why did we do this again?” I feel horrible for those few seconds, and EVERY parent feels that way now and again, but no ever says so. You keep me in check, and you don’t even know it!
Christine, it’s all about insight. Your insight. Your wisdom. Thanks to your writing, I know what I’ll be facing in the years to come. And when we get to Baby Step 7 someday, we may be able to financially help out another couple that can’t have children of their own because of what you have awakened inside of me.
Don’t change. At least not for your loyal followers. We’d follow you no matter what you wrote about, as long as YOU wrote it.
I think I just “crash-guest posted” your blog. Can I announce it on my blog, since I didn’t type dookie today on my own site? 🙂
Heh…of course! Your thoughtful encouragement and feedback are really valuable. But now you’ll announce it and all your FB friends will come here and see what you wrote anyway! 😛
And just so you know…I would not get pissed at you for feeling unappreciative sometimes. I’m no saint…I feel that a lot too.
Maybe i should get to work on that phone book now.
I like hearing how people who are walking a spiritual path and following Jesus do life – messy or not. That’s what I get from you, Christine. Please keep sharing yourself!
Thanks…sometimes it doesn’t feel like i’m doing it all that well, and other times it feels like i’m sharing it to brag or say “look what i’m doing!” and i don’t want to do that at all…..thanks for making me feel like it’s actually encouraging and not self-inflating!
Everyone is inspired by something different, so sometimes it’s good to be all over the place. Yes, the experts tell us to focus our blogs & creativity into one specific topic. But I’ve found that to be a little stifling. Sure, it may cause a rise in blog traffic, but that’s not what having a blog is all about, right?
With that said, what has truthfully kept me coming back thus far is Zach the Zombie! You may find that funny, but I’m new to your blog so I’m working my way through some of your older posts. But Zach is refreshing, and it’s been fun to read his story thus far.
The other thing I like about your blog is that you actually respond. You want to build relationships with the folks who visit. That’s one of the reason I keep coming back. It’s also the reason why I blog. I want to encourage & inspire & challenge my readers. But I want to build friendships with them as well.
You’re doing a great job, from what I can see. 🙂
Denise, I’m really glad that you stopped by and that you liked Zach (and me) enough to stick around! I DO want to build relationships, and I do care about every single person that stops by…in fact, my first draft of this post had a really sappy section where I went on and on about loving all of y’all. 🙂
Christine, I think you should write wherever God is leading you, and it sounds like maybe He wants you to write more about life, like everything in your daily walk. You absolutely have a story to tell about adoption (maybe that’s a book?). But you have untapped talent in the area of “random” writing skills (trust me, I speak from experience here…) so much of your thought process is entertaining and funny, I think you should use it all!!
Finishing a memoir about our adoption is actually one of my goals for the year. If things could slow down just a wee bit, I’d actually get some work done on it!
And I’m glad that *someone* finds my insane thought process funny! 🙂
Yep, there are few that can really write with a twist and you’ve got it!
Hi Christine,
I like that you post on a variety of topics, so I vote to keep that format.
A couple more thoughts:
o While I like fiction and science fiction, Zach the Zombie hasn’t really connected with me. I like the disclaimer at the top about the story being unpolished, but I can’t always get past the structure and grammar issues. I probably need to work on not being so picky. 🙂
o I really like the structure, feel, and content of the above post. It has the feel of a Jon Acuff post. Short. Crisp. A single focused message. I like that format. Nice job.
Keep up the great work!
Thanks, Dean…I *really* appreciate constructive feedback; you’re not being picky at ALL! I’ve been a little overwhelmed the last couple weeks, but I’m looking forward to getting back to Zach next week. I’ll work on polishing him up a bit to see if that helps him connect better.
As for comparing me to Jon Acuff? I’m honored and humbled. Thanks!!
I just checked in for the first time today. And I took my time to read through Skottydog’s words. Phew! Long but touching. I’ve only read two posts so far and must confess, I’m thrilled. So, your writings bear your message and your voice. Just STAY being you. And you’ve got a great work going: orphan issues and all. Don’t have children of my own but I’ve always loved to impact orphans (really, i think of this occasionally). Your work’s great but if you could tweak the blog’s heading design a bit. Keep the dream alive! God’s got your back.
Thanks SO much, Yusuff! I so appreciate understanding your first impressions; they’ll help me make this an even more welcoming place.
And I agree with you on the header (and you’re not the first one to tell me that). I’m working on a better one…that’s just kind of a placeholder to get a *little* more color in the theme for the time being. Thanks for your honesty and constructive input!! 🙂